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Trust Health and Depth in my Personal & Professional Relationships

Inventory


The purpose of this exercise is to take stock of your levels of trust, health and depth in personal and professional relationships, under five headings. 
 
Remember to do this inventory with curiosity, honesty and mainly with kindness towards yourself. What we are NOT doing is judging yourself or beating yourself up or comparing to some imaginary ideal.

There are two parts to this inventory. First part is for your personal relationships, the second one for your professional relationships.

It is important to reflect, after each section, and note down your possible gaps.
There is no outcome as such from this inventory, only your own insights, questions and curiosity what to improve in your relationships and life.
 

Personal relationships

Physical wellbeing

Body and image

I may be imperfect yet I feel compassion towards myself and my body.
ANO NE
You may be imperfect and we can still be friends, lovers, partners. I see a lot of qualities in you.
ANO NE
I feel physically safe in the relationship and I offer the same to you.
ANO NE
I care about my body by nurturing, pleasuring, resting, feeding it well.
ANO NE
I have enough privacy and I allow it to others.
ANO NE
I enjoy mental intimacy (knowing my partner deeply and being able to be completely free in his/her presence). I can share my dreams and my fears freely.
ANO NE
I enjoy physical intimacy (sex).
ANO NE
Deep relationship and trust is more about who I am and less about image and performance.
ANO NE
I have many healthy habits and I work on removing unhealthy habits.
ANO NE
I am aware of healthy boundaries in this area (body and image) and communicate them well.
ANO NE
I consciously experience the present (now) through my body, immediate surroundings and thoughts. *
ANO NE
*Body - feelings, sensations, moods, emotions
Surroundings - where I am, what is around, what I see, hear, smell, touch, sense
Fantasy - thoughts, calculations, rationalizations, estimates, interpretations, imaginations etc.
Score:
0
/ 11
Reflect on:
What do I want to learn and implement in my life, in terms of the above area of physical wellbeing?

Independence

I stand firmly on my feet, I feel I can function with or without my partner.
ANO NE
I feel that my partner and/or adult children can function without me.
ANO NE
My partner and I are two individual beings together rather than a fusion into one unit.
ANO NE
I have a circle of friends and family I can share my life with and my partner has his/hers.
ANO NE
I have enough freedom in the relationship. I have time for my hobbies and interests.
ANO NE
I am able to say NO to unhealthy relationships and activities.
ANO NE
I am aware of healthy boundaries in this area (independence) and communicate them well.
ANO NE
I can communicate feelings and needs without judging or blaming others.
ANO NE
Score:
0
/ 8
Reflect on:
What do I want to learn and implement in my life?

Emotional wellbeing

You are not responsible for my emotions and actions, I am.
ANO NE
I can control my verbal and physical actions to my satisfaction.
ANO NE
I don’t hold grudges against others as it mainly hurts me.
ANO NE
I have had adequate professional help around my traumatic experiences (violence, serious illness or pain, abuse, rape, death, poverty, neglect, abandonment).
ANO NE
I feel enough, I am not less or more than others.
ANO NE
I make conscious decisions. I can respond rather than react.
ANO NE
I am more of an optimist and view my future bright rather than pessimistic.
ANO NE
I feel emotionally safe in the relationship.
ANO NE
I experience and express all ranges of emotions (sadness, fear, anger, frustration, pride, humility, desire, courage, optimism, acceptance, love, joy, peace).
ANO NE
I experience moments of joy nearly every day.
ANO NE
I am able to empathise with others (feel with / sense / read /imagine other people’s emotions).
ANO NE
I feel connection with others, I feel I matter and that I am valued.
ANO NE
Score:
0
/ 12
Reflect on:
What do I want to learn and implement in my life?

Mental wellbeing

I feel relatively independent of others' opinions, judgement or criticism of me.
ANO NE
I balance giving positive and negative criticism.
ANO NE
I am curious about others and life.
ANO NE
I have things to look forward to.
ANO NE
I welcome change as a room for growth.
ANO NE
I am aware of the difference between reacting to the present situation and reacting by habit.
ANO NE
I feel I can rely on my own opinions and decisions.
ANO NE
I don’t feel a constant urge to do/perform, I can rest my body and mind.
ANO NE
My self-worth is healthy and given rather than based on how I currently perform in life.
ANO NE
I can share my energy and enthusiasm for my opinions, lifestyle, changes, growth but I don’t expect others to adopt or understand them.
ANO NE
I am aware of the importance of making agreements with others rather than having expectations of others.
ANO NE
I am flexible in my opinion. I am not too rigid to consider other perspectives.
ANO NE
I strive to understand others well instead of making assumptions.
ANO NE
Score:
0
/ 13
Reflect on:
What do I want to learn and implement in my life?

Soul wellbeing

I am responsible for my own development, growth, changes. I don’t blame others or circumstances.
ANO NE
I feel gratitude for what I have, who I am.
ANO NE
I have trust in life, in the future.
ANO NE
I enjoy being on my own, in a short-term solitude where I can think or rest without being disturbed or need to be entertained (by devices, social media, music, others).
ANO NE
I am able to recognise what I want for myself vs what others want for or from me (peer pressure by family, partner, peers, culture, society).
ANO NE
I have a sense of belonging and value.
ANO NE
I share vulnerably instead of pretending.
ANO NE
I honor my basic human rights such as: I can change my decision, it is ok to make a mistake, it is ok to say I don’t know and/or I don’t care, I don‘t have to excuse or justify my actions, it is ok to sometimes make emotional decisions, I decide if/how much I am responsible for solving your problems.
ANO NE
Score:
0
/ 8
Reflect on:
What do I want to learn and implement in my life?

Depth

Mental space

I have the ability to listen fully, understand first, then be understood.
ANO NE
I know how my people feel what goes on in their lives (major events).
ANO NE
I can admit mistakes and failure. I share vulnerably instead of pretending.
ANO NE
I don’t take sides secretly. I am fair and honest.
ANO NE
I ask permission to share my opinion and advice. I don’t give unwanted or unsolicited advice.
ANO NE
In my communication, I aim to deliver value rather than only offers / needs / requests.
ANO NE
I strive to be fair (male/female/age/religion/seniority…).
ANO NE
I have healthy boundaries with others (clients, customers, bosses, peers) they know what is ok and what is not not ok.
ANO NE
Score:
0
/ 8
Reflect on:
What do I want to learn and implement in my life?

Professional relationships

Trust

I don’t withhold information or knowledge.
ANO NE
I share vulnerably (true feelings) instead of pretending.
ANO NE
I can delegate, I trust that others will do a good job or will learn how to do it.
ANO NE
I am not afraid of growing my employees/colleagues/team. I am not afraid that they will outgrow me.
ANO NE
I can say NO, I don’t feel that I have to serve everybody/all the time.
ANO NE
I am not overly dubious about others and their intentions.
ANO NE
I don’t feel manipulated by others.
ANO NE
I have a sense of belonging.
ANO NE
I can accept positive and negative criticism and I offer it to others.
ANO NE
I am able to tell the truth (I don’t fabricate events/facts).
ANO NE
I trust my people/team.
ANO NE
Customers are not always right, I am able to communicate that.
ANO NE

Physical space

I feel safe at my workplace.
ANO NE
I believe my people (clients, customers, employes, team members etc) feel safe at the workplace.
ANO NE
I offer support to others.
ANO NE
It is easy for me to ask for help when needed.
ANO NE
Score:
0
/ 16
Reflect on:
What do I want to learn and implement in my life?

Health

Mental space

I am aware of my leadership style and other styles.
ANO NE
I am able to leave work at work and focus on family/personal life.
ANO NE
If working with family members, I distinguish when and how I talk to them as my business partners and when I talk to them as my family members.
ANO NE
My family are amongst the most important stakeholders/partners.
ANO NE
I understand the difference between having expectations of others and making agreements with others.
ANO NE
I know how to take up my space (I ask to be heard, considered, to contribute).
ANO NE
I balance praise and negative criticism.
ANO NE
I know how to support developing creative ideas, innovation, different approaches. I acknowledge and consider others' opinions before I dismiss it.
ANO NE
I am aware of my intentions, why I do/say things, how I do business.
ANO NE
I enjoy presenting and selling myself/my products.
ANO NE
I am at peace with my decisions and actions, I don’t overly regret or beat myself up.
ANO NE

Physical space

I enjoy participating in team building and team spirit.
ANO NE
I have healthy habits and work on eliminating unhealthy habits.
ANO NE
I have / offer an adequate and healthy working environment.
ANO NE
My people are happy at work.
ANO NE
Score:
0
/ 15
Reflect on:
What do I want to learn and implement in my professional life?
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