Physical wellbeing
Body and image
I may be imperfect yet I feel compassion towards myself and my body.
You may be imperfect and we can still be friends, lovers, partners. I see a lot of qualities in you.
I feel physically safe in the relationship and I offer the same to you.
I care about my body by nurturing, pleasuring, resting, feeding it well.
I have enough privacy and I allow it to others.
I enjoy mental intimacy (knowing my partner deeply and being able to be completely free in his/her presence). I can share my dreams and my fears freely.
I enjoy physical intimacy (sex).
Deep relationship and trust is more about who I am and less about image and performance.
I have many healthy habits and I work on removing unhealthy habits.
I am aware of healthy boundaries in this area (body and image) and communicate them well.
I consciously experience the present (now) through my body, immediate surroundings and thoughts. *
*Body - feelings, sensations, moods, emotions
Surroundings - where I am, what is around, what I see, hear, smell, touch, sense
Fantasy - thoughts, calculations, rationalizations, estimates, interpretations, imaginations etc.
Reflect on:
What do I want to learn and implement in my life, in terms of the above area of physical wellbeing?
Independence
I stand firmly on my feet, I feel I can function with or without my partner.
I feel that my partner and/or adult children can function without me.
My partner and I are two individual beings together rather than a fusion into one unit.
I have a circle of friends and family I can share my life with and my partner has his/hers.
I have enough freedom in the relationship. I have time for my hobbies and interests.
I am able to say NO to unhealthy relationships and activities.
I am aware of healthy boundaries in this area (independence) and communicate them well.
I can communicate feelings and needs without judging or blaming others.
Reflect on:
What do I want to learn and implement in my life?
Emotional wellbeing
You are not responsible for my emotions and actions, I am.
I can control my verbal and physical actions to my satisfaction.
I don’t hold grudges against others as it mainly hurts me.
I have had adequate professional help around my traumatic experiences (violence, serious illness or pain, abuse, rape, death, poverty, neglect, abandonment).
I feel enough, I am not less or more than others.
I make conscious decisions. I can respond rather than react.
I am more of an optimist and view my future bright rather than pessimistic.
I feel emotionally safe in the relationship.
I experience and express all ranges of emotions (sadness, fear, anger, frustration, pride, humility, desire, courage, optimism, acceptance, love, joy, peace).
I experience moments of joy nearly every day.
I am able to empathise with others (feel with / sense / read /imagine other people’s emotions).
I feel connection with others, I feel I matter and that I am valued.
Reflect on:
What do I want to learn and implement in my life?
Mental wellbeing
I feel relatively independent of others' opinions, judgement or criticism of me.
I balance giving positive and negative criticism.
I am curious about others and life.
I have things to look forward to.
I welcome change as a room for growth.
I am aware of the difference between reacting to the present situation and reacting by habit.
I feel I can rely on my own opinions and decisions.
I don’t feel a constant urge to do/perform, I can rest my body and mind.
My self-worth is healthy and given rather than based on how I currently perform in life.
I can share my energy and enthusiasm for my opinions, lifestyle, changes, growth but I don’t expect others to adopt or understand them.
I am aware of the importance of making agreements with others rather than having expectations of others.
I am flexible in my opinion. I am not too rigid to consider other perspectives.
I strive to understand others well instead of making assumptions.
Reflect on:
What do I want to learn and implement in my life?
Soul wellbeing
I am responsible for my own development, growth, changes. I don’t blame others or circumstances.
I feel gratitude for what I have, who I am.
I have trust in life, in the future.
I enjoy being on my own, in a short-term solitude where I can think or rest without being disturbed or need to be entertained (by devices, social media, music, others).
I am able to recognise what I want for myself vs what others want for or from me (peer pressure by family, partner, peers, culture, society).
I have a sense of belonging and value.
I share vulnerably instead of pretending.
I honor my basic human rights such as: I can change my decision, it is ok to make a mistake, it is ok to say I don’t know and/or I don’t care, I don‘t have to excuse or justify my actions, it is ok to sometimes make emotional decisions, I decide if/how much I am responsible for solving your problems.
Reflect on:
What do I want to learn and implement in my life?
Depth
Mental space
I have the ability to listen fully, understand first, then be understood.
I know how my people feel what goes on in their lives (major events).
I can admit mistakes and failure. I share vulnerably instead of pretending.
I don’t take sides secretly. I am fair and honest.
I ask permission to share my opinion and advice. I don’t give unwanted or unsolicited advice.
In my communication, I aim to deliver value rather than only offers / needs / requests.
I strive to be fair (male/female/age/religion/seniority…).
I have healthy boundaries with others (clients, customers, bosses, peers) they know what is ok and what is not not ok.
Reflect on:
What do I want to learn and implement in my life?